Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
