yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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