i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
