escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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