Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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