I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
