you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
