Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
