I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
