Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry akbitch86 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(228): View more from Mississippi

Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!

(1-228): View more from Mississippi

brownberry?

Fav 19 1580 6247
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

Fav 31 30395 1601
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.

(703): View more from Virginia

mine is 'the'.

Fav 32 9470 1214
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.

Fav 18 8739 1400
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?

Fav 22 5532 1660
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.

Fav 7 4245 1099
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional

Fav 2 823 2348
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.

Fav 0 63 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service

Fav 0 109 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT