Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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