Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
