just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
