i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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