I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I skipped work to stalk him.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
