Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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