There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
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No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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