That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
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I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
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We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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