Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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