Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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