So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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