i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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