Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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