We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
