Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
