I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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