I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
