try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
