TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
