is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I said "one day" and that day is not today
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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