I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize