I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize