we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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