Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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