This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Randomize
