Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
