So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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