I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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