Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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