you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
