He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it was like eating out sand paper
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
