dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
