And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
