Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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