I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
