i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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