if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
