Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Your dad touched me again.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
