the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
