he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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