real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
