Non-Jews are for practice
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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