I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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