Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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