You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize