I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
