You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
