I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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