I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
