Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
